News is currently coming in that explains some of the rumors that I'm sure you've all been hearing about. I've tried to piece together all of the sound bytes I've heard so far from Mayor Duckly and the Clean Water Commission into one clear, comprehensive list.
1) A rare breed of Japanese Fire Piranha HAS been confirmed to have been bred in secrecy by a lab located within the Pinecrest Aquarium.
2) One of these fish HAS escaped the lab through a series of complex viaducts and underground tunnels.
3) This fish HAS been confirmed to have gotten stuck in a water pump that supplies water to about 80% of the population of Pinecrest.
4) It HAS NOT been confirmed if the fish contained any kind of virus or disease that could have been transmitted to the water distributed from the pump before the fish was removed.
5) Residents HAVE been advised NOT to drink any tap water or use any public water facilities until notified otherwise by Mayor Duckly in an official press release.
It is important that everyone makes a special effort to come together as a community in situations like this. We must remember that this small accident is truly of NO severe threat to this city.
Come to the Pinecrest Village Anglican Church to receive free bottles of water and dry shampoo. We have also filled the fountains in Shallyman's Square with bottled water. Treat the fountains as you would your own shower.
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